Gravy!

Gravy first came into our world as a result of a situation with Melissa Margolis, heretofore known as Schnorkums. Schnorkums became aware that a mouse was sharing her apartment on Valencia Street in San Francisco and wasn’t even pitching in for groceries or paying any rent! Schnorkums figured that in spite of her cat allergies a cat may be imperative.

A Craigslist search led her to a cat named Melissa, and as she is a great believer in synchronicities and signs, she made plans to meet Melissa the cat.

Melissa the cat was one of seven siblings, and her human was suffering from Too Many Cats Syndrome. Upon arriving at the cat house, however, Melissa was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the only cat which came to meet her was a black-and-white fluff-creature who had been informally named “Slut” due to his extreme affectionate snuggliness. The friendly floof immediately jumped onto Schnorkums’s lap and began purring. Schnorkums told the human, “I want this one.”

Schnorkums soon settled upon the name “Gravy” for her new life-partner, and Gravy proceeded to pee on her bed. After laundering the sheets he peed on her bed once more, and seemed to get it out of his system.

When I would sleep over, Gravy would position himself so that he was lying on both of us at the same time. He’d lie there and purr through the night. One morning, I woke up screaming with an unfamiliar pain on my face. Gravy had a front claw embedded in my eyebrow and was hanging off the edge of the bed by my head. It took Schnorkums, Gravy, and me about a minute to extract him from my face. Fortunately he missed my eyeball, and the physical damage was minor. The emotional damage, however, lasted several days for myself and a lifetime for Gravy, as he no longer lies on top of humans while they sleep.

He is still affectionate and friendly and purrs, however.

Gravy then relocated across the bay to Alameda. In the first couple months, he rediscovered the outdoors, sometimes staying out for a day at a time. Then, just as suddenly, he began staying indoors or at least close to home. Perhaps he met a fluffier kitty out there? Only Gravy knows.

A few years saw a relocation to a house a mere one block away. Gravy was turning into a lazy kitty. Then one day a crazy cat from the streets, Frogs, came into Gravy’s life. At first their relationship was fiery and contentious. His status as sole kitty of the realm was threatened. In spite of this, he was watching her and imitating her. She jumps into trees? I’m gonna jump into trees. She takes walks with my humans around the block? I’m gonna take walks with my humans around the block. He experienced a second youth.

Then a few years ago, Gravy decided to relocate yet again to San Leandro. New territories to be claimed, new plants to sniff. Perching on the front doormat outside became one of his favorite spots.

One day, while his humans were lounging on the couch, a grunting and a growling was heard through the closed door. One of his humans ran to the front door to see two pit bulls and a blur of black and white fur. The human screamed, ran in to the house to get a weapon, and took after the attackers in his underwear, blade in hand. They were too fast for him.

Surely this was the end for good ol’ Gravy.

But no, after 20 minutes he was found shaking and covered in mud hiding in the bedroom. He was missing a claw, which he left in one of his attackers, who hopefully died of gangrene. A late night/early morning trip to the emergency vet clinic saw Gravy get a nice stash of drugs, some fun and some boring. Also some stitches, a few weeks in the cone of shame, and he was on his way to recovery.

As Gravy approaches his 16th year, he is showing some signs of age. His kidneys are not what they once were, and his appetite waxes and wanes. But he’s a trooper, and we think he’ll have many more fluff-filled years.

And he’s back to hanging out on the front stoop.